The only thing the db9 and Vantage have in common is styling. Totally different experiences, the db9 is the sport luxury GT car (emphasis on luxury) while the vantage is more along the lines of a corvette or 911 as a sports car with some amount of luxury thrown in for good measure.
Also, if you are going for a non 6spd, the db9 has a smooth automatic where you wont have to worry about clutches like the vantage.
Seeing you are coming from an m3, the vantage will be a closer comparison, the db9 is going to feel much larger heavier softer but more substantial and have more presence is the only way to describe it. I've got an e93 m3 and wouldn't trade it for a vantage, I would swap it out for a db9 volante however.
Not sure what the pricing is like over there but an r8 might be exactly what you are looking for. The perfect blend of everything w reliability and low cost of ownership while still maintaining exclusivity
Pricing is reasonable. I can't see myself going from the M3 to an R8 V8, drove them back to back and whilst it was nicer, not sure it's $50K nicer. The V10 is in Gallardo territory, and I couldn't buy an Audi over a Lamborghini.
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