Just some humor from a friend.

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  1. #1
    JEGstudios's Avatar
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    Default Just some humor from a friend.

    On of my friends posted this on facebook.





    Okay, let me set the scene: I'm sitting on my couch, like I do, and I hear a knock on the door. I kick the pizza boxes out of my way and sure enough, Will Smith is standing at my doorstep. As I open the door to let him in, he takes a knee and holds out a porcelain egg. I take it from him and he demands I smash the egg over his head. I never question Will Smith. As the egg shatters, it reveals the Zenith 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium. Another man, of less stature comes up to sweep the egg shell pieces and they both leave. I have to say, it was probably the second best delivery service I've ever received in my life, aside from UPS 2nd day air.

    I put on the watch and noticed the band was a little loose for my wrist, I took it to a jeweler to have it adjusted for $23,000.00. Worth every penny. This thing now fits like a wrist trojan. After tinkering with the timers and doo-hickies, I noticed there wasn't a visible calender. No biggy, that's why I have cell phone. By the way, the timing on this thing is more accurate than my phone which is constantly updated via GPS.

    Why the 3 stars? Well, It's not that I'm particularly peeved about the lack of calendar, or the fact that nothing on this watch has been made from a precious metal like gold or platinum -not to mention the crystal face is a synthetic (hesalite)...No, what bugs me is this watch is only tested to go down to 3300 feet. I regularly free dive to depths at or below 3400. Pretty disappointed. I may give this to my nephew or something. He's mentally handicapped and wouldn't be able to use most of the features anyway.





    Just did a bit of research on this. The amazon review page has a bunch of funny things like this!
    Amazon.com: Customer Reviews: Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch
    -Jordan

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  2. #2
    JEGstudios's Avatar
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    Another good one:

    So, this watch is a double edged sword. I actually never paid for it. I came upon it in a cave when I was walking barefoot through the shire. There it was, a gleaming beacon of luxury cutting through the darkness of that dank cave. When I first picked it up, I found it to be kind of ugly but something drew me to it. Besides, a watch is a watch and I needed a way to tell time.

    When I latched it onto my wrist, I immediately felt some sort of power coursing through my veins. I thought to myself, "This is no ordinary watch." I went back to my quaint little cabin built into a hill and poured over some manuscripts, but could find nothing on the watch, so I came to the all knowing and ever powerful, AMAZON.COM. Now,I'm a simple guy. I enjoy drinking ale, writing stories and smoking Tovie while conversing with my wizard friend. When I saw the price of the watch I the pipe dropped from my mouth. Still, I swore I would not let the watch change me. I had a new watch and it kept excellent time. Other pluses included, the ability to become invisible, along with the ability to dive to the deepest depths of the sea. I could tell right away that this watch is greater than any other watch in the world. Ever. Period.

    However, the more I wore the watch, the more I began to change. Whenever somebody touched my watch I would get angry and I'd try to kill them. Needless to say, I began to lose friends. Having something of this magnitude strapped around my wrist made me feel like the baddest mother around and soon enough, I began to develop a short temper. At times, I would close my eyes and I'd see the freakiest stuff, like dead kings, burning villages and some sort of flaming eye that would speak to me in some creepy voice. I started to mumble to myself, a lot, and could not stop looking at the damn thing. Even my wizard friend noticed the changes in me, and when he approached me about it I snapped. When he suggested I give the watch up, I got angry like some sort of down and out drug addict.

    All in all, this watch is okay. On the one hand, it keeps good time. On the other, it has cost me all my friends and has turned me into some sort of shriveled goblin like thing that only eats fish. Still, I have my watch and that's all that matters.
    -Jordan

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    08 Lexus IS250 - Sometimes
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    _____________________________________
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    Default

    Has been the source of much amusement for years now

    Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch

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    JohnMcAwesome is still one of my favorites,

    excerpt......

    "When I was just moments from sending my $100k to some needy neo-hippie help group, I stumbled onto this gem. It was like the heavens opened and Jesus himself appeared with this same watch on. I mean how can you not follow Jesus when he's rocking a watch of this caliber. So I asked "What would Jesus do?" Jesus pimp smacked me and said "Forget those hippies, buy the watch!" I was like "HECK YEAH." "

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    holy crap this is hilarious!
    Last edited by The Godfather; 05-17-2012 at 07:36 AM. Reason: Keeping it G.
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    Quote Originally Posted by freshmeat View Post
    Mathew 7:2
    "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you."
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyinglakland View Post
    shit just got Biblical. I'm out!

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    The Badonkadonk tank is a personal favorite.
    Un-Retired

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    haha gotta love amazon
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    Hilarious reviews on Amazon, that watch looks like something from a Japanese cartoon lol

  10. #10
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    Amazon had some good reads. Very funny reviews.
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